A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, “Can’t you see I’m winning?”
She got pulled over by a cop
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked,
“Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”
The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’
s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”
The cop looked at her and said, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener!”
This little old lady goes to the doctor
This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much.
It never smells and it’s always silent.
As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.
You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.”
The doctor says “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady goes back.
“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly.”
“Good”, the doctor said, “now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.”
