A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.
“How do they feel?” asks the salesclerk.
“Well, they feel a bit tight,” replies the blonde.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet.
“Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk.
“Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.
A blonde woman on a plane
There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit.
She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there.
An attendant saw her and said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. You cannot stay here.”
The blonde replied, “I can and I will.”
The attendant told the copilot, who came and talked to the woman.
“Ma’am, we really can’t have you staying in this seat, your ticket was for economy.”
“You can’t make me move.”
The copilot told the captain, who tried to talk her out of the seat but it didn’t work.
Finally, a man who had heard what had been going on told the attendant to let him have a go at getting the woman out of the seat because he was married to a blonde too, so he knew how to deal with her.
After a quick chat with her, she moved.
The shocked attendant asked him how he did it.
The man replied, “I told her first class wasn’t going to Detroit.”
She got pulled over by a cop
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked,
“Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”
The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”
The cop looked at her and said, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener!”
