A man comes home early from work and tells his wife he just got fired.
He tells her, “I got caught with my tool in the pickle slicer.”
His wife asks him if his weapon is okay and he assures her it is fine.
“Well,” she asks, “What happened to the pickle slicer?”
“Oh,” he says, “She got fired too.”
A man walks into a pub and asks
A man walks into a pub and asks for 12 shots of vodka.
The barman says, “Wow, 12. Are you celebrating?”
The man replies, “I’ve just experienced my first bl****ob.”
The barman says, “That’s brilliant. Let me get you another one on the house.”
The man replies, “No, that’s okay. If the twelfth one doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.”
Two girls and a boy are playing doctors
Two girls and a boy are playing doctors and nurses behind the shed one day.
The little boy suddenly drops his pants and shows them his weapon.
One girl screams and runs away, the other rolls her eyes and proudly scoffs, “Pfft, that’s nothing.
My daddy’s got two of those.”
“What?!” says the boy, “Two?!”
“Yeah two,” replies the girl, “One for going pee pee and another for cleaning the nanny’s teeth.”
