The doctor told a guy that self enjoyment before make love often helped men last longer during the act.
The man decided, “What the hell, I’ll try it,”
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his wife.
He couldn’t do it in his office.
He thought about the restroom, but that was too open.
He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway.
He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to play with his unit.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the seed, he kept his eyes shut and replied, “What?”
He heard, “This is the police. What’s going on down there?”
The man replied, “I’m checking out the rear axle, it’s busted.”
The cop replied, “Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you’re down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago.”
Two homeless men are devising a plan
Two homeless men are devising a plan to get free drinks at a bar.
The first one has an idea: “We’ll buy a hot dog and stick it down your pants, walk into the bar, get our drinks, drink, and when the bartender asks for his money, you pull down your pants and I suck on the hot dog that you put down there.
He’ll kick us out, and we wont have to pay. It’s brilliant!”
The second man agrees and they do this in the first bar where it works just as planned.
Then they hit up 4 more bars and the first man says, “This is great, getting all these free drinks!”
The other man replies, “Yeah, especially because the hot dog fell out at the first bar.”
